Being A Father
I’ve been meaning to post this for the past week but then, as many new parents will tell you, normality takes a back seat when you have a newborn in the house. Our daughter Chloë was born on the 1st February weighing a healthy 7lbs 8oz, the birth went well and was an experience I’ll never forget. I wasn’t quite sure how I’d react during her birth and moreover how I’d support Cat through the process but I’d like to think I did the best I could. Seeing Chloë for the first time was awesome and I was a little nervy when I was asked to cut her cord; and then it all went quiet. It seemed after all that she just wanted to snooze on Cat and just kind of take everything in and I just watched as I came to terms with the fact I was now a dad.
We were home by early afternoon with Cat soon to have a baby shower and later that evening I, with a few friends, wet the babies head. I think I was still very much running on adrenaline as I hadn’t had a proper sleep since the previous day. The next day I think Cat and I were both still coming round to our new-found roles as parents. Even now I have the occasional double take but I’m thrilled to be a dad. The last two weeks have been tough, sure, but every little noise, smile and mumble Chloë makes just makes everything worth it. Cat and I are still finding our feet and trying our best when Chloë isn’t happy. I think we’re mostly successful at knowing what’s up but not so much when it comes to making things better especially when it comes to sleeping in the evenings.
I’m fairly confident we’ll get over these soon and I’m so looking forward to seeing the constant day-to-day changes in Chloë. She’s gaining weight well and doing all the things newborn babies should be doing (read marking her parents). We’ve had our ups and downs that one might expect but there are far, far more ups. I’ve been on leave for the last two weeks and don’t go back to work till March. This has been fantastic as I’ve been able to support Cat as best I can but also it’s allowed us to spend time as a family and that’s very important to me. I’m contemplating adjusting my work hours to see if I can spend more time at home too though perhaps not for a wee while. Ever since we started talking about having a family I’ve been keen to be a stay at home dad and I really hope I can realise this in the not too distant future.
In the short-term, however, I’m just excited to be a dad and while I sometimes feel I could do more I know deep down I’m just being overly critical. That doesn’t change the fact that I want and hope to be the best dad I can be and equally the best husband I can be for Cat. We’re a team and so far we’ve been working well together. Propping each other up when we’ve struggled and patting each other on the back too. This is a venture into the unknown for both of us and there have been a fair few times already when we’ve been unsure as to whether what we’re doing is the right thing. It’s at these times that a supportive partner is key and I’m so very glad Cat is always there for me and hope that I have, and will continue to be, always there for her.